Ranking the Hellraiser Saga: A Rotten Tomatoes Showdown!

Ah, the Hellraiser franchise, or as I affectionately call it, the greatest study in human curiosity gone horribly wrong. Based on the mind-bending tales of Clive Barker, this cinematic series has cajoled its way into the hearts of horror aficionados everywhere. Much of this is thanks to the one and only Pinhead, who stands as a chilling reminder that sometimes, curiosity is best left to the cats (and perhaps the occasional masochistic archaeologist).

The films delve into some rather morose themes: hell, pain, and temptation. And let’s face it, who doesn’t feel tempted to open a strange puzzle box during a mundane Tuesday afternoon? But before you grab that box, heed this warning: the movies introduce us to the sadistic Cenobites, whose idea of a good time is fervently at odds with your average Netflix binge. The imaginative creature designs and indeed, some of the most gruesome kills, set the bar quite high—but only if you haven't had your tea yet, of course.

Now, like any good relationship, the Hellraiser movies tend to be hit or miss. There are gems that glimmer with horror finesse, standing tall among the best films of their time, whereas others, well, let’s just say they end up in the “should-have-just-stayed-home-at-the-movies” bucket. With Barker's fluctuating involvement, the series lacks the consistent brilliance of something like Scream or Evil Dead—but don’t let that fool you; there’s quite a passionate fanbase still clamoring for the next existential crisis.

Take Hellraiser: Revelations, for example. It follows two friends, Nico and Steven, who toss caution—and their hipster sensibilities—to the wind and flee to Mexico for a weekend of debauchery. For some reason, they decide to test their luck by using the Lament Configuration. Spoiler alert: they vanish faster than my enthusiasm for a Monday morning meeting. A year passes, and their families, as families do, come together for dinner, only to find that charming little puzzle box again. I can just hear them now: “Oh look, a family heirloom!” But when Steven reappears, the dinner party doesn't end as one might expect. It turns out that a dinner party isn’t complete without a few Cenobites crashing the fun.

Then there’s the concerto of chaos that is Hellraiser: Hellworld. You’ve got a bunch of teens, reeling from the loss of a friend, who meander off to a party hosted by someone who clearly had a little too much ‘Hellraiser’ enthusiasm. What starts as a promising, horror-themed rave devolves into a night of terror—it’s like the worst college credit course you never signed up for. Pinhead and his gaggle of Cenobites are on hand to ensure the group learns a few life lessons, the hard way. And if you’re thinking it’s just all in their heads? Congratulations! Meta-horror achieved. Yet, as with all attempts to shake things up, the film won a polarized reputation that could’ve used more hugs and fewer chains.

Next, we glide blissfully into Hellraiser: Judgment, where we meet the Auditor—who sounds less like a denizen of hell and more like an accountant gone rogue. The film’s narrative swings between detectives chasing a serial killer (because why not add a bit of real-world horror?) and Pinhead, who’s surprisingly keen on keeping things in order. It’s the heavenly versus hellish showdown we didn't know we needed, even if some fans left the theater feeling less than heavenly about it.

Hellraiser: Deader stands out as a notable dark horse in this lineup, presenting Amy Klein, a journalist who unwittingly finds herself amidst a cult fascinated by resurrection. Imagine her surprise when she realizes being a journalist is much like being a horror movie protagonist—you never quite know what’s lurking around the corner. Her story latches onto the generational feud between the LeMarchands and Pinhead, adding layers of intrigue that some might consider gourmet horror.

And then we have the Khal Drogo of horror movies, Hellraiser: Hellseeker, where our protagonist Trevor wakes up from a coma to discover his wife is missing. As he navigates his questionable life choices and encounters beautiful flashes of horror, the audience is left asking themselves how it is possible for a film to present as both a horror thriller and an encyclopedia of irritating husband behavior.

Remember the tales of yore? Enter Hellraiser: Bloodline, where the action jumps to the distant future—because, why not? The film explores the lineage of the infamous Lament Configuration through time, highlighting the idea that familial curses are the most horrifying of them all. Although some may appreciate the backstory, it’s hard to shake the feeling that this franchise deserves a little more magic before it calls it a day.

As we circle back to the present with Hellraiser: Inferno, we’re kindly gifted with a detective who spirals into a hallucinatory nightmare. This film deftly kicks off our long line of new Cenobites, giving viewers a delightful (if terrifying) array of monstrous designs, and teaches us that every serious detective might just need therapy after facing off against a dimension of absolute terror.

And let’s not forget Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth, where nightclub