Unveiled: The Exclusive Hideouts of New York's Elite

Ah, autumn in New York! The leaves are turning, the air is crisp, and Saturday Night Live—yes, you heard it right—is strutting into its 50th season, reminding us all that time does indeed fly when you're endlessly entertained. Film studios are popping up like mushrooms after a rainstorm, and believe it or not, the Knicks are actually showing some signs of life. In case you find yourself heading to the Hollywood of the East anytime soon, consider this your insider's guide to the fabulous and the ridiculous, from dog runs that charge admission to hotel bars where you might catch a glimpse of the glitterati.

Let’s start with the four-legged members of society. According to dog trainer Bash Dibra, who's worked with the likes of Jennifer Lopez and Sarah Jessica Parker (as if we needed another reason to envy those pooches), “The real power hang is Central Park.” It’s not just any dog park; it’s the kind of place where dog owners strut their stuff before 9 a.m., off leash and a little off key, basking in the glow of their not-so-hidden privilege. The evening crowd? Mostly Met museum donors—because why wouldn’t you want to socialize while keeping watch over “your” art?

Now, let’s talk parking—because in New York, even that’s an elite sport. Designer Melody Weir waxes poetic about the Paddock garages, a sanctuary for your vehicle conceived by a former Ferrari employee. With locations on East 86th and East 55th, these garages are like exclusive clubs for your car, and a third location is on its way. Meanwhile, the average driver is left wondering why their sedan doesn’t come with its own doorman.

If you're looking to really blow your budget, head over to The Mark’s five-bedroom penthouse. At a cool $75,000 a night, it’s practically a steal in the world of high-rolling New Yorkers. Travel agent Jason Squatriglia assures us that it's worth every dime—what else would you expect when Drake makes it his second home and Meghan Markle chose it for her baby shower? If you’re feeling festive, you can even request an ice-skating rink on your balcony. Yes, that actually happened.

For family gatherings of the elite kind, Benjamin Vaschetti from Maison Benjamin tells us that the Billy Johnson Playground in Central Park is the new hotspot for networking while the kids frolic. It’s a playground, but with more nannies than you can shake a stick at, which is precisely why everyone loves it. After all, who needs adult conversation when there are swings involved?

And speaking of places to see and be seen, you *must* insist on your seating arrangement at Sette Mezzo. It’s more than just dining; it’s about staking your social territory. Gillian Miniter, a socialite with far more experience than I have matching my napkin fold to my outfit, suggests the front half of the restaurant as the best spot for celebrity sightings. Just remember: casual sophistication is the name of the game here.

When it comes to private dining rooms, Zach Weiss has a dilemma on his hands between Casa Cruz and Emilio’s Ballato. The former offers a feeling of homey exclusivity, while the latter embraces a very mobster aesthetic—with a hint of pasta. Talk about dining with a side of drama!

Need a little help with those racing thoughts? Well, Samantha Boardman’s your gal! With her Harvard degree and years of practice, she has a line of anxious one-percenters trying to navigate their fabulous yet fraught lives. Somehow, I don’t think the average therapist gives out fashion advice on the side, but in this town, anything is possible.

And if you’re worried about your appearance while navigating the social scene, fashion writer Freya Drohan has two suggestions: Dr. Julie Russak and Dr. Dan Belkin. One will have you looking like the Elephant Man for a bit, while the other is trusted by none other than Martha Stewart. A tough choice, but in the world of high stakes skincare, you can’t afford to skimp.

If you want something more gritty, head to Jimmy’s Corner, the beloved dive bar where the walls whisper stories of boxing legends like Robert De Niro and Evander Holyfield. It’s quintessential New York: $3 beers and an atmosphere reminiscent of bygone days. Belly up to the bar, and you might just feel a tingle of the old magic.

Let’s talk concerts. Developer Mitchell Hochberg insists on specific sections for the best experience—108, 109, 115, and 116, to be precise. These are the coveted "Industry seats," where the real magic happens.