Unveiling the Secrets: Navigating Low or No Contact with Family

Family dynamics can be a maze of emotions and relationships, often leading to complicated situations. One approach that has been gaining popularity on social media platforms—especially on threads like “Am I the asshole?” on Reddit—is the concept of going ‘no contact’ with family members. This idea has sparked conversations about when it’s appropriate to step back and what circumstances might drive someone to do so.

Elisabeth Shaw, a Clinical Psychologist and CEO of Relationships Australia NSW, observes, “In the past, duty and obligation kept people attending family gatherings—think birthdays and major holidays—out of a sense of responsibility.” However, as cultural norms evolve, many now openly discuss the idea that not all family behaviors are tolerable. “Some things are genuinely non-negotiable,” Shaw emphasizes.

So, what does going no contact actually mean? According to Catriona Davis-McCabe, President of the Australian Psychological Society, it describes the deliberate decision to sever all forms of communication and interaction with a family member. “Sometimes, it’s a step to establish clearer boundaries, or it could be a means of protecting oneself from perceived harm,” she explains.

On the other hand, if you find yourself wanting to maintain some level of contact but still need distance, you might consider a strategy known as "low contact." This approach involves keeping interactions limited and controlled, potentially reducing frequency and emotional intensity. However, it’s worth noting, as Dr. Davis-McCabe points out, that neither term is officially recognized in psychological circles; they are more contemporary expressions that have emerged in modern discourse.

Shaw notes that discussions about cutting contact often arise when people seek help for family issues. In many cases, these feelings stem from persistent poor communication and high conflict. “There often is a specific event or a track record of unresolved issues that leads to a 'final straw' moment—after which everyone involved retreats without a plan for reconciliation,” she adds.

In more severe cases, cutting ties has been a necessary response to factors such as abuse, betrayal, or domestic violence. When emotional or physical safety is at stake, severing ties